Castration phone sex is my favorite. Why? Because testicles are for winners. Let’s be honest here. If you read past the first sentence, you are not a winner. You are a loser with a tiny dick or a broke down dick or just a fucking moron who has no reason procreating. A real man would see the word castration and say to himself, “What the fuck,” and not read any further. Not you right? You are still reading this because you know you do not deserve your balls. You need a woman like me in your life who will not hesitate to remove your junk. I have a special place in my cold dark heart for losers who can admit their short comings and ask for help. It won’t make me not remove said loser’s balls, but I will do so more compassionately. You piss me off or fight me, your testicles get fed to the animals and you don’t get the benefit of a soldering iron. You can just bleed out.
My reputation for junk removal is well known in certain parts. Often times I get men sending me letters with pictures pleading for me to whack off their nuggets. Many offer to pay me for my time and service. Just last week, I gave Bob the chance to lose his balls for a small fee. He had been begging me for months. No money was ever offered up until he got in trouble with the law for exposing his little click stick to some young girls, who by the way laughed at him and snapped pictures they later posted on Instagram and Snapchat before calling the police. When I arrived at his place, I found him with a castration band already around his balls. They were turning blue and he was having difficulty talking. I put a ball gag in his mouth so his neighbors would not hear the screams. I laid a towel down underneath him as not to stain his carpet. And, I handcuffed him to a chair so he could not fight me.
I have lots of ways to take off nuts, but Bob was getting the compassionate service since he paid me $2,000. A grand a nut. I pulled his balls down and sliced at the skin being tugged away from his body by the band with my big blade. Blood splattered; Bob passed out and his nuts fell to the ground. I cauterized the wound, used some smelling salts to revive him, then left him his testicles as a memento . How you interact with me determines if your get the compassionate service or if you bleed out on your living room rug.