Something about the summer solstice makes me crank my murder phone sex fantasies up to an extremely elevated level. Maybe it’s the sweltering heat smothering the shit out of me, could be all the sweat covered flesh flashed everywhere I look, it’s probably a mix of both with a little seasonal depression thrown in to top it all off. I hate the fucking sun and all of the “fun times” that supposedly come with it. I’m hot, I’m cranky and all of the bikini wearing bitches and brewski pounding bros around are going to have to pay for it. They deserve it.
Ever hear how loud a bunch of coeds get when they’re partying at a lake house? It’s always the same. Stupid shouts and gleeful screams as someone crashes through a beer pong table that is somehow louder than the blaring electronic music that sounds like a robot getting raped. The hoots and hollers of the drunken and drugged mass of party time fuck pigs as some random sorority slut clones strip out of their bathing suits and grind their whore holes all over the party. They’re all like this, maybe with slight variations. Makes for easy pickings, I have all the sound cover I need.
As much as the sun sucks, skinny dipping on a warm moonlit night has to be one of earth’s greatest pleasures. There’s a lake not far from my House of Horrors that has lots of little alcoves and offshoots that are perfect for it. Unfortunately, the summer lake crowd ruins it every year with their trash and noise pollution. Selfish pricks. The one thing I like about the season ruined on an almost nightly basis by a bunch of out of towner teens. A couple of “accidental” drownings usually takes care of it, though. And there’s always a few fucked up fuck pigs who want to skinny dip in the moonlight, too.
They never know I’m there. Sometimes they just splash around, maybe the girls will play with each other’s glistening titties or slap their friends asses as they flip around in the lake, other times I’ll get a couple or two who are getting in the water to fuck. Either way, I sit patiently and wait for my moment to strike. Like a crocodile stalking its unsuspecting prey in the shallows, I slowly swim my way over to the good time group and position myself to strike as they unwittingly splash about.
I wait for a straggler, one of the sluts who wander a little too far out into the dark water away from the group. Sometimes I get a “gimme” and find a super fucked up slut passed out on the bank. However I come across them, I just drag them under the water and drown their dumb asses. If they’re conscious, they fight a bit. No problem though, they’re already too deep to really do anything. I can hold my breath for longer than any unsuspecting party slut, I just hold them down and wait it out. By the time their friends find their bodies, I’m long gone with zero evidence of me even being there. Just another drunk whore getting too fucked up and drowning at the lake.
It really is the best way to break up a party. Murder, that is. Do you think anyone can have a good time after they find their lifeless friend floating in the water or laying lifeless on the bank? I mean, other than me, of course.
