I suppose everyone knows what tomorrow is. It’s Thanksgiving. Little families all gathered around a fucking bird to gorge themselves senseless. Hard to run when your gut is distended. I am not one for tradition, in case you haven’t figured that out. I like to celebrate this holiday doing something I only do once a year. I’ll give you a hint to what that is … read the title of this blog.
It all started when I was still in school. We were studying Barbarians in History class. I remember thinking how fucking badass these bastards where. You had the Visigoths, Huns, Vandals, Saxons, Avars, Picts, Burgundians, and Franks. Those are not all of them of course, but those are some of my favorites. The most intriguing part of this tiny section of History is all of the wonderful ways of torturing someone that came into being.
We did not really go over the torture parts, I learned that on my own. They excited me, so much so that I wanted to try my own method. Even back then I really didn’t care about right or wrong. I knew/know what it is, I just don’t give a shit about it. That brings us to Tee, that isn’t anywhere near her real name, but Tee liked to exaggerate. If you had a toothache, her asshole blew up as her hand was cut off by a chainsaw while a shark chomped down her left tit. You know the type. This got on my fucking nerves, I cannot stand liars. Not in the least.
I invited Tee over once. She just would not shut the fuck up. My Mom even left, not just the room, but the fucking house. Told me that she would be back in five hours, and if Tee left before that to just call the bar and let her know. To be fair, before anything happened I gave her a warning, but did she listen? Nope. I said something like that some day those stories that she told would get her into trouble, then she went on to tell another lie filled tail. Which was fine because I knew that she wouldn’t listen to me. I told her that we had to take some stuff out to the burn barrel. She picked up the stuff and we went out there.
In no time there was a pretty good fire roaring. It was very cold outside so getting her to stand closer to the barrel was easy. Then I just grabbed the back of her neck and pushed hard. She tripped, knocked over the burn barrel, and got burnt. Ooops. She was screaming like crazy, I was thinking too bad it didn’t scorch her stupid mouth. She looked up at me, I went around her and stomped out the fire on the grass. She was crying and holding out her arm. The skin was peeling, she was shaking like crazy. It was a pretty good wound.
My neighbor saw her trip and knock over the barrel. He didn’t see me push her of course, but he did see her get burned. He ran right over to where we were standing. He left to go and call for help. I squatted down and smiled at her. She said that I did that on purpose, I said, “I sure did.” I wasn’t going to deny it, as I said, I hate liars. However, I did let her know that if she ever lied, or exaggerated again that the next time it would be her tits, and if I was in a great mood her pussy too. She turned white.
The rest of the time I spent with her in school she was quiet. She would talk, but she wouldn’t go overboard. I think I actually helped her make friends by doing what I did. See, I’m not so bad after all. *laughs*
