I am that little darkness that sits on your shoulder. The one that tells you to go on, nobody will know, take it, hurt it, fuck it, kill it. You try so hard to ignore me, but you cannot. It might take minutes, hours, or years, but you will give in. When you do, I promise it will be the most incredible feeling in the universe. Every day you allow more and more of those little thoughts that I planted to creep in. You lose yourself in them, smiling to yourself. Each time you do, I gain a little more ground. When you are sleeping I flood your dreams with despicable acts of beautiful cruelty. You wake up in a cold sweat, breathing heavy, frightened, do not worry, you will come to love those sexually deviant nightmares.
You will welcome those images like you welcome a dear friend into your home. You will start to see them in all things you do. The dark temptation becomes harder and harder to resist. You keep telling yourself, “No!”, bringing yourself back from the brink of committing a vile act of immense pleasure. The point comes where you do not block out my words, you long for them to call to you every minute of every day. You feel something building inside of you, at first it is a want. Then it becomes a need, a craving that you cannot satisfy.
I whisper continuously into your subconsciousness. I become your safe place. Without the dreams, words, thoughts you feel lost, you beg for me to continue. I do. You are mine now, the things that I tell you to do, you do without question. They make you feel powerful, they make you feel like nothing bad can ever happen to you. You carry out the tasks with precision, with glee, with my blessing. I’m the little darkness that sits on your shoulder, until you become what I want, then I will go quiet. You will be left broken, exhausted, unable to survive without my words, the misery will become great, you will cry out only to be met with silence. However, I will return, I will revel in what I have created in you, in your life, the chaos, the pain, the tortured thoughts of all you did for me and that will sustain me until I find another who I want.
Indigo
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