I love cannibalism phone sex, especially during this month of Thanksgiving. I am so grateful that there are so many stupid bitches around that I can have for dinner. Literally. I have been watching cooking shows for months now to learn the proper seasonings for white meat. I like dark meat too, but there are far more dumb drunk white girls roaming the malls and bars of America. I have learned a few things over the years of preparing special holiday feasts. Always have back up meat. Sometimes you grab a meal on the go and don’t realize until you get home it is already spoiled or way past its expiration date.
Nothing ruins meat more than too many tattoos; or fake boobs and butt implants. Plastic surgery and a face full of Botox means you are a practice meal at best. I don’t serve my friends anything but the best, purest meat. I have a sweet young thing chained in the back yard as I type. She is free range, eating corn meal and protein so her meat with be extra juicy come Thanksgiving Day. I also have a not so sweet thing who is giving the Kardashian twits a run for their money in the fake department. She is a barely legal girl already addicted to plastic surgery and chemicals. Honestly, she will do society far more good as a practice meal. I am just putting her out of everyone’s misery, including her own.
It got messy, but I extracted her breast and butt implants. Shaved her head so the bleach would not ruin her flavor. I flavored her body in a yummy butter sauce. Slow roasted her over an open flame on a bed of veggies. Even put an ear of corn in both ends as a side dish. The key is letting the sauce absorb into the skin. This can be obtained with an overnight sauté or good meat tenderizing before roasting. I like a slow roast. Sure there may be some screams as the heat consumes your meal, but ultimately it just makes the meat so much more tender and sweet.
I applied some cooking tips I learned from Rachel Ray and I pretty much turned Spam into Lamb. Even golden brown. Tender and juicy all around. A nice aroma. And seasoned to perfection. She yielded way too much meat for me alone, and I never let a meal go to waste, so I put parts in my Ninja blender. Made some protein shakes for the real meal grazing in the backyard and some diced meat for sandwiches. I so can’t wait for Thanksgiving. Want to join me for a very special meal? You can bring a special side dish and we can trade recipes!
She was a little ho ho ho and Holly was a perfect name for her. Such a pretty thing with a twinkle in her eye. To bad I would be turning that twinkle into pain and agony. After all tis the season. What better way to celebrate then with an evening of Merry Mutilation phone sex while I decorate the halls with the Bowels of Holly. Disembowelment is such a festive procedure. Covering everything in holiday red! Screams that fill the air like the carols sung by innocent little ones wondering the neighborhood. Unsuspecting of the horror going on just inside. I five her drug that renders her helpless. Unable to move and yet able to feel every thing that is happening. A pleasant little paralytic. Placing the knife in her hand I sing “Deck the Halls: and guide her hand to her abdomen. Where my expert skills go to work slowly disemboweling her with precision that keeps her alive as long as possible for maximum pleasure!
