It’s Sunday funday and you know what that means, right? It’s time for evil phone sex with your favorite blasphemous freak! Nothing makes me happier than telling men about my devious fantasies on the so-called Lord’s Day. See, I have this fantasy of you and me going to church one Sunday morning and picking out a cute little virgin to play with. I’ll make friends with her and ask her if she would be interested in tutoring me about the Bible. Then of course, when she gets to your house, that will not be what we do with her.
I think it would be perfect if we nailed her to a cross just like her savior Jesus and while she’s up there, we’ll ask her what sins she’s committed. If she says none, we will tell her she’s lying because DUH. That’s the point of her Jesus, right? To wash her humanly sins away. Every time she admits to a sin, we will torture her in some way. We can talk about how when you call me. Eventually, she’ll die for her sins. I guess Jesus didn’t really get rid of them for her, huh? Call me now so we can have some play time!