Summer is a ripe time to find young, fresh bodies; I prefer the ones with a healthy mixture of fat and muscle…otherwise, they taste too tough or too soggy. We cannibals banded together to go on camping trip of sorts; really, we were hunting for campers. And, as luck would have it, when we arrived at the park, we could see a blaze of fire in the distance; it looked to be the perfect length from the entrance. It wasn’t too close or too far away, nestled deep in the woods.
The teenagers were already fairly intoxicated, but we’d burn that off soon enough. We put out some great wines, perfectly seasoned for our purposes. The greedy youngsters were happy to drink our wines. We told them that we had something stronger if only they would do something for us. The girls agreed without even hearing the entire proposition. One of my comrades gave them some oils and told them to bathe each other in it. The guys thought it was hot and my party chuckled at their enthusiasm…and naiveté. Soon they were lathered, so we put out a clean blanket for them to sit on; we didn’t want grass in our entrees.
One of my male companions bound the girls. I had other things on my mind: I walked stealthily behind the chairs of the young men…and quickly slit their throats. To be honest, none of us liked the taste of males, and they were becoming more than a little annoying with all of their immature sexual innuendos as the girls sautéed themselves.
One of the girls noticed how quiet it was; one said the guys had probably passed out. Being myself, I said, “No, look at the way their heads are positioned.” One screamed, then another, until all of them were in unison. One of my companions chastised me but I shrugged and told them that their adrenaline would make the spices pump faster through their bodies. It was time: the sharp sticks that we had brought were set up over the fire; the young idiots really hadn’t done a horrible job assembling the bonfire.
Stakes were in the ground and now it was time to hoist our meals. I tenderized them by whipping them; and, then I jabbed several sticks with various vegetables through their jaws and thighs. I had the good mind to cut their vocal cords; and, then we were able to recline with a glass of wine and wait to devour our lovely meal!