Listen up, bitches, I had the most thrilling date ever, and let me tell ya, it was fucked up! This dumbass at school, let’s call him ‘Loser Boy’, kept begging me to be his prom date. Hell no, I ain’t no princess! But this moron didn’t get the hint, so I decided to give him a ‘special’ night out. Dressed to kill, I met him at the cemetery. Yeah, romantic, right? I broke the lock with my pliers and watched his pathetic face. He wanted to bail, but I wasn’t having it. I dragged him inside, laughing my ass off. He tried to run, so I stabbed that motherfucker with my pliers. His screams were music to my ears. I kicked and punched that pathetic dick until he got a boner. How sick is that?! I yanked his pants down and gave him a ‘hand job’ he’d never forget.
But the fun didn’t stop there. I bashed his head against a grave, then snipped off his tiny dick. His guts spilled out, and I felt fucking amazing. I left his dead ass there. It’s a cemetery, no one will notice another corpse! Best. Date. Ever.