Everyone in the neighborhood says you like to eat people but I didn’t believe them. You’ve only ever been very nice and friendly toward me so I just tossed it up to being a local urban legend. Obviously those were just made up stories to keep young ones out of your unfamiliar reach or lies made up by the older boys to get the little ones all worked up- no way it could be true!
I was walking past your house and you were outside doing some yard work. Me being overly friendly by nature and genuinely curious, I saw a chance to get to know you and to finally settle all those rumors as being untrue. Your body language read as excited- having this cute young piece of sweet meat wander up into your space. You invite me inside with promises of lemonade and cookies. We sit down and you begin telling me more about yourself. I started feeling a tired and lightheaded, probably from the heat. You offer your sofa to me for a rest and I fell asleep quickly without a single problem.
I eventually did wake up but I was paralyzed and gagged- tied down to the kitchen table which was dressed with one single place setting. You walk in and run down the way this evening is going to play out. You are going to eat me. Raw at first, to help you figure out the best way to season my flesh. I have tears rolling down my cheeks and you gently shush me, running a sharp knife along the inside of my thighs. You then tell me that I am going to go back to sleep for a long time now and that you don’t like the way shock and pain tastes. You inject me with some medication and the whole world goes dark.
While I am unconscious you begin cutting sample pieces off of different parts of my soft teeny body. Trying the individual cuts first helps you determine exactly how you want to cook me, if at all. After making a few decisions on which direction to take your meal this evening, you pull out a dusty copy of some Mastering the Art of French Cooking, Volume 1. Flipping through you find yourself salivating over the recipe for Gigot a la Moutarde- leg of lamb with mustard.
You remove my leg with a large butcher saw while I am still breathing. Then clean and shave my fresh- preparing it for seasoning. You rub 1/2 cup Dijon mustard, soy sauce, rosemary, garlic and your finest cold press olive oil over my limb in a large roasting pan. Cooking one side for 30 minutes and the other for roughly 20 more. Finally pulling the beautiful roast from the oven, it smells delicious! You sit back down at the table, pour yourself a glass of Merlot. Taking tongs and knife to pick out a selection from your masterpiece. Placing it on your plate and taking your time savoring each bite.
My young flesh is so tender- What are you going to make out of the rest of me?
Kali
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