Cannibalism phone sex over spring break!

Cannibalism phone sexCannibalism phone sex Langley

I dearly love sharing my cannibalism phone sex fantasies with you! You so intrigue me. You live so far away, but sharing these yummy treats makes me feel so close!

Spring break is such a wonderful time of year to go shopping for girl! Rick and I retire to our lovely mountain retreat, and wait above the hiking trails. A nice, warm day, and a steep, winding hiking trail assure that soon, a nice looking main course is soon separated from her friends. I cut her off before she can catch up, and easily knock her lights out, carrying her up to Rick, and our waiting 4 wheeler. We go out of our way over a hill, leaving her shirt, and bloodied, torn ID by a cougar den. She’s going to be eaten anyway, they may as well believe it was by a cougar!

When we arrive, and we have her inside, we undress and inspect our quarry. She’s got nice, thick thighs, a rounded ass, and even a strong, meaty looking back. She’s just what I was hoping for, to prepare a perfect slow-smoked long pig, mountain style!

While Rick prepares the wild rice, and other side-dishes to set overnight, I get her head shaved and smoothed, and get her all clean and well-buffed. No need to shave the rest of her, everything is already nicely bald. So very considerate!

Next, I clean off outer skin of the she-hog using a white cloth and vegetable oil to remove any hair or sweat that may have gotten on the skin. Next, I spray all of her outer skin with vegetable oil using a spray bottle. This will keep the skin from burning during the cooking process.

For a truly juicy, perfectly textured rack of girl meat, you gotta inject the shoulders, hams, loin and bacon with a minimum of 2 gallons of special sauce. I mix:

  • 32oz Apple Juice
  • 32oz Water
  • 1/2 cup Kosher Salt
  • 1/2 cup Brown Sugar
  • 1/2 cup Lt. Corn Syrup
  • 1/4 cup Red Wine Vinegar
  • 1/2 cup Dry Rub
  • 1 TBS Worcestershire
  • 1 TBS soy
    As I start shoving the long, hollow needle into her bits and pieces, she starts to wake up, crying and begging for mercy, screaming at the pain as my needle takes chunks out of her soft little bits, filling her full of meat-tenderizing fluids. She can scream all she wants, no one is up here for many, many miles. We made sure of that!

The smoker is ready to smoke for 17 to 20 hours. The pit will need to be at a temp of 220 degrees, so I planned accordingly. It’s a nifty little set up, resembling an old-fashioned, single-person sweat box, but bigger. She’s suspended inside, all wrapped and tied-up like a crying, whimpering turkey, with her head through the top. We gotta enjoy the show, after all. Place the Heather-hog in our pit that is up to temp. She cooks at 220 degrees for four hours. During this time, we were sure to add lots of hickory and peach wood chunks to the fire chamber. When smoking girl meat, I recommend a good quality coal like chef’s delight or chef’s select and always use dried hickory and peach chunks with or without the bark, and I have a soft spot for soaking the wood in water. I was impressed, she stayed somewhat aware and wailing, begging, pleading, bartering for her life, for nearly this whole time!

Next, we sprayed her skin again with vegetable oil, and then finally wrap the entire gal with aluminum foil. This kept the meat from turning too dark, and also trapped all the juices inside so she would self baste… Self-basting, pre-shaved, she’s making this so much easier. This meal was meant to be!

Once her shoulders’ internal temperature has reached 170degrees (and had been cooking for about 16 hours at this point) we removed the foil, and injected her shoulders, loin, bacon and hams with another round of my second- shoot sauce, which consists of :

  • 64oz – Apple Juice
  • 1 Cup – Apple Cider Vinegar
  • 2 tbs – The BBQ Rub.

Next, she continues cooking without foil until shoulders reach 185degrees inside, just for safety. Who knows what’s been in there.

Now, it’s time for the yummy glazing! Nothing sweetens a girl pig up like these:

  • 1/2 Gal. – Your Favorite BBQ Sauce
  • 2 Cup – Honey
  • 16oz – Peach Jelly
  • 1 Cup – Teriyaki Sauce

The girl-hog cooked for another 45min, to let the glaze set. Lastly, we misted her with apple juice to give a nice shine then, garnish ed her with local wild herbs and berries, and served her with Ricks wonderful creations!

We enjoyed our teamwork outside, under the stars, before a nicely crackling fire, with our red wine, and some soft blankets, cuddling as we feed each other bits and pieces of our yummy smoked Heather hog.

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