Every day I hear something about some self entitled asshole shooting an innocent person, or taking his family with him because he is too much of a sorry ass loser to just take his own worthless life. I hate people, not all, but most. It’s because most of society thinks the world revolves around them; that they are entitled to shit without working for it; that they can do whatever the fuck they want to whomever they want and the rules don’t apply to them. These are the useless folks I want to snuff out. Hitler was on to something with his gas chambers and ovens to eradicate big groups of people. He just targeted the wrong people.
So my evil mind has been thinking up super viruses. Much like Nazi pseudo science, my virus would be torturous and deadly, and designed to eradicate large populations of people, namely worthless pricks and useless cunts, otherwise known as assholes . I have an evil accomplice who is a biologist. We have been playing in his lab, creating the perfect super virus, one that recognizes folks with the “arsehole gene” which leads to the creation of an asshole. Our super virus will only kill folks who carry the arsehole gene. When this virus finds a host carrying the gene, it will attach itself, mutate and kill. And not kill as in a heart attack, but kill as in completely exterminate. Carriers of the areshole gene will be infected with a deadly virus that literally eats their bodies from the inside out. Internal organs will eviscerate; skin will turn carcinogenic; and before long the asshole or future asshole, will be a pile of melted flesh and bones. Because it is a designer virus, it will resemble Ebola or Bird Flu, making it hard for the medical community to recognize that this is a man made virus designed for a sort of ethnic cleansing.
The only way to ensure the well being of everyone is to rid the world of assholes. If you are an asshole, get your affairs together now, because you won’t be able to hide from my virus. Or just call me and have me snuff you out before hand in a swifter, less agonizing way. If you know an asshole and you need them gone before my super virus is perfected, call me to be your nasty accomplice. Killing assholes is much more fun with a sick twisted bitch. Let’s just say I really enjoy getting rid of garbage.