There is no way out for me, I killed for the first time and it probably won’t be the last. Even if I get away my actions will always haunt me. Maybe she would still be alive right now if I just tried harder because right now it feels like I didn’t try at all. After the sinking feeling in my gut went away I felt an enjoyable rush come over me. Am I starting to enjoy this? I’m afraid every day and night so I shouldn’t be. It’s all very confusing…
She was cuffed in a Saint Andrew’s Cross against a wall in the back of the room. She struggled and screamed for help for hours until it actually started to annoy me. I feel guilty that part of me wanted to tell her to shut the fuck up instead of to comforting her. All I did was lay silently on the cold cement floor where he left me, wondering what would happen next.
He came into the room carrying a very large and extremely sharp knife. I was already scared, but it made me more nervous when he untied me. I knew it wouldn’t lead to anything good and that’s exactly what happened. He stood me up and whispered his demands into my ear before placing the knife in my hand. I’m not shocked that even with a knife in my hand I didn’t consider escaping, that’s just how weak I am. All I do is mindlessly follow orders! It’s so bad that when I slit her throat the only thing I felt was the satisfaction of knowing I followed orders.
I held the knife to her throat and pressed the blade into her skin. She knew what was happening, but couldn’t accept her fate with dignity. She chose to spend her last moments begging for her life with tears pouring out of her eyes instead. Was she too stupid to realize that was exactly what he wanted? He enjoyed that she was suffering. It didn’t just make him laugh, it made his prick rock hard too. He jerked himself off while he licked every tear off her face, but he didn’t cum until after I cut her throat. Hopefully, she wasn’t alive to see it.
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