This is my favorite time of year. Why do you ask? Because of all those girl scouts selling their crack in a box. They have a girl scout badge for everything, but I was surprised to find out they do not have a badge for castration phone sex. Imagine that? So, I decided to create one. Amy, my favorite little girl scout, was going to earn her badge this week. And she did. She wore an extra slutty little green dress that I made for her to taunt the dirty old men, separate the weak from the strong. Looks just like the real thing. She had a little wagon filled with crack in a box I bought at the mall stand, along with a big ass knife and a soldering pen. The first pervert to invite her inside while he looked for his wallet would lose his balls and earn her a badge in castration.
The first house she went to in a fancy gated community she struck gold. A local preacher man too. He invited her inside to get his money, offered her a glass of milk with a roofie. She is smarter than that because I trained her. She smelled the drugs in her milk immediately. Only acted like she drank it. Cut his balls clear off when she surprised him that she was not passed out like he thought. She had the knife tucked in the back of her dress and when she heard him unzip his pants she opened her eyes on the couch and wham, the preach man was missing his testicles. “Testicles are for winners,” she said. She never even used the soldering pen on him. She let him bleed out on the floor. Put his severed balls in his mouth , wrote “pervert” on the walls in his blood and left him for the preacher’s wife to find. She came skipping out of the house an hour later and told me the entire story. I cried tears of joy. I am so proud of my little protégé. But oh how they grow up so fast.