I know I should feel all jolly and shit as the holidays are approaching. Most folks are feeling good at this time of year, however, I am a bit like the Grinch. I just don’t enjoy all the false sentiment folks spew this time of year. I do, however, like the sentiment “Do unto others as they would do unto you.” And that is just what I did to this mother fucker who ripped out of my hand the last fancy Lego set I was purchasing for my friend’s brat, the only brat I like. His name is Damien too. I hate Walmart; and more than I hate Walmart, I hate Walmart shoppers. This asshole said he needed it for his brat more than I did. Even pushed me to the ground and sprinted through the store to check out.
He clearly did not know who he was fucking with. I waited for him in the parking lot, saw what car he got into then stalked him to a fucking bar and waited patiently until his drunk ass came out. Never underestimate my patience when it comes to revenge. Before he could get to his car, I greeted him with my big ass knife. Pushed him into the alley and asked if he remembered me. He did. But, “yeah you are the stupid cunt from Walmart,” was not the correct answer. I also had my pliers and my 38 special with me. I held the knife to his neck until he was quivering and pissed his pants. I then asked him if he had ever heard of a little movie called “Marathon Man.”
Of course he had not. Stupid rude mother fucker. Well I introduced him to my favorite scene with a live reenactment. I used those pliers to pull out all his teeth. One by one, slowly, meticulously and very painfully I extracted all his teeth. I had a gun to his worthless cock and balls, a knife to his throat and suggested he be very still and make no sudden movements as my hands were not steady. His mouth was a bloody hollow mess by the time I was done. I even made him hold his own teeth and smile for me after every tooth I extracted. When I was done, I tossed his teeth in the dirty alley, and left him a bloody, pissy, crying mess.
He took something from me, I took something from him.
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