I’m not the girl next door type, unless of course you live next door to the Devil’s Rejects, then yes I am your crazy evil bitch next door. I’m what you would call a castration junkie. I love riding men of their junk, especially if its worthless or not used properly. I have said it before, there are a 100 ways to castrate a chap. Last week I shared my creation the Venus Penis Fly Trap, which not only takes balls clear off, but mangles cocks forever, rendering sexual predators powerless over their victims.
I have another fun way to get rid of useless appendages: chainsaw castration. In fact, every year I conduct a Chainsaw Castration Bandcamp, where I teach other women the art of castration by chainsaw. Puts a sadistic twist on the “This one time at band camp” line. You would be surprised how many women pay good money to learn this art form. So men, if the woman in your life is fond of flannel and Leatherface is her idol, use your junk for good, not evil, because likely she is a graduate of my Chainsaw Castration Bandcamp and is just looking for any reason to take your manhood literally.
I just schooled two new disgruntled housewives this week. Perhaps maybe even your wife? If you are unable to satisfy your wife sexually, and make no attempts to rectify that; maybe even make her think it’s her fault that you can’t get it up, then I would encourage chainsaw castration. If you like little boys and girls, and can’t control your proclivities, especially with your own offspring, then I would encourage chainsaw castration. If you can only get off forcing yourself on a woman, even your wife, then I would encourage chainsaw castration. Oh, and if you are cruel to animals, then you are not a man, but some pansy ass coward who can’t pick a fair fight, therefore forfeiting your right to anything manly especially your pecker. In that case, I will personally use my own chainsaw, castrate the very thing you do not deserve, and feed it to the victim of your little man syndrome.
My latest recruits showed so much enthusiasm and natural ability, that I have made them my chainsaw castration accomplices. Last week they each rid a man of his cumbersome genitalia. One was a dirty bird prone to spontaneous public masturbation on playgrounds. The other and ex boyfriend of mine with a broke down dick whom I discovered was running his mouth about how I couldn’t get his whiskey dick hard. You see, sometimes men pay me to castrate them because they are too weak to do what they know needs to be done. This was the case with the playground masturbator. Sometimes wives pay me to do the work too unseemly for a suburban wife. And, sometimes I just need to teach an asshat some respect for women. This was the case with my worthless tiny dick loser of an ex. So, it was time to not just empower a few women to be castration junkies, but recruit a couple to help me with all the worthless peckers out there that need chopped off. A castration junkie’s work is never done.
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