I’d rather fucking eat your heart out of your chest literally, than accept a box of chocolates and a dozen of cliché red roses. I don’t believe in Valentine’s day! I never will.. Its that one day out of the year where you suddenly express your love for someone that you didn’t care to express too all fucking year. If you really loved the stupid bitch, you wouldn’t need a national holiday to acknowledge her… You can admit it, you feel obligated!
Personally, I think hell with it! Honestly, you and I both know you cannot stand that bitch.. You call me up at least 4 times a week and we both come up with millions of ways to murder her. Just 2 nights ago we shared our Murder phone sex Fantasies.. And we both agreed she’d be better off beheaded.. We’ve considered so many cruel ways to off that nagging bitches head and soon our deep dark “fantasy” will be a reality..
We’ve agreed, we suit each other’s needs quite well.. We understand each other beyond measures and you open up to me about things you would never fix yourself to say to any other human on earth. The time is near babe.. I hate the thought of you having to sit across from her at dinner tomorrow and fake you have the hearts for her.. I know when she is biting into her steak you will sit there with a smirk on your face hoping she chokes to death..
Only if, then we wouldn’t have to fear getting caught murdering her! I’ve been doing the research honey.. you and I both know, nobody would assume me… They would check your records not mine.. I am just some whore off a Taboo phone sex site.. which is why I am doing all the research.. I figured it out! The perfect idea.. We are going to inject gasoline using a syringe into a light bulb! As soon as she flicks on the light and her squealing voice goes to make out the words “Honey I am home!” the bitch will be blown up into shreds.. Her and that stupid purchase of a family home, will burn!
Accomplice phone sex will be an understatement, it’ll be official.. I will have you all to myself and we can bask in the satisfaction of her being gone forever!