Castration phone sex is the best way to spend Random Acts of Kindness Day. Too many men don’t deserve their balls. I will say it until I am blue in the face, testicles are for winners. And I am going to bet, if you are even reading this blog, you want me to practice a random act of kindness on your balls. Well guess what? I would love too. I’m such a charitable bitch.
Just today, I met a man who was so pathetic I knew I was doing the world a favor by removing his balls. Some guys just scream loser. It is beyond having a tiny dick. It is their whole demeanor. They act like girls. Total sissies or drama queens or prissy little bitches. Sean was all of the above. Found him pitching a fit over his triple mocha at Starbucks. A middle aged man in colored skinny jeans talking like Rupal and being very rude. No man with a big cock wears skinny jeans. No self respecting gay man would be as pudgy and poorly groomed as he was and no gay guy is rude to a barista.
So I made a snap decision to practice a random act of kindness for him and for my beloved baristas that make my drink perfectly every day. I followed him to his car, shoved a needle in his ass that incapacitated him, then pushed him in my car. He woke up naked, suspended with his worthless balls in a vice. I lit a cigarette, blew a smoke ring around his worthless pecker then put my cigarette out on his testicles. He screamed like a bitch, so I gave him some serious cock and ball torture. Lit cigarette, electric shock, several whacks and a few punches. I told him he was receiving charity as I tightened the vice grip until I busted his nuts. He cried like a bitch, but busted nuts are easier to slice off. One clean slice with my knife, a soldering pen to where the nuts were to stop the bleeding, and he was singing soprano. Since I am such a charitable bitch, I gave him a shot of penicillin, wiped his tears and told him I did him a favor. Can’t act like a girly bitch and expect to keep your balls. Maybe you need some random acts of castration bestowed on you?
Venus
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